OnToMe.com

Scorn a popular role-playing or online game which sells in the millions and scorn the gamers who play it without reasonable proof and you’re up for a rage and revenge by this dedicated online community that speaks of total commitment and loyalty to their group - and that includes even the conservative gamers who openly show scorn for the critic. There are a few lessons learnt here and learnt very well.

A self-help writer, Cooper Lawrence and author of the book “The Cult of Perfection: Making Peace With Your Inner Overachiever”, openly criticized Mass Effect, one of the most critically praised games of 2007, on “The Live Desk With Martha MacCallum”, a Fox News program featuring a discussion of the apparent sexual content of the hit video game.

Even worse, the author admitted on the programme to not having played the game after having delivered intense criticism that the game contained frontal nudity and explicit depictions of sexual activity. The assertions of virtual lasciviousness first appeared earlier this month amongst online bloggers who were incensed by short ‘YouTube’ clips which were taken from the 30- to 40-hour game. Cooper Lawrence appeared to mischaracterize the game when she stated:

“Here’s how they’re seeing women: They’re seeing them as these objects of desire, as these, you know, hot bodies. They don’t show women as being valued for anything other than their sexuality. And it’s a man in this game deciding how many women he wants to be with.”

Mass Effect is a science fiction game which includes a complicated romantic subplot that is no more inappropriate in its plot or graphic in its depiction than any television show played in the evenings to public viewers. Factually, and as a point of further embarrassment to Ms. Lawrence, Mass Effect allows users to play as either a man or a woman, and the few suggestions of intimate contact occur in the context of a detailed interpersonal story line.

An exacting revenge by online gamers - who turned their caustic disdain and anger on Cooper Lawrence - materialized. Ms. Lawrence’s most recent book user-rating on Amazon.com, “The Cult of Perfection”, was sent spiraling into near oblivion with one-star ratings given by these gamers who sought their retribution.

The book was tagged with the keyword “ignorant” and tied for 2nd place for keywords “garbage” and “hypocrisy,” and tied for 4th place with the words “hack” and “hypocrite”. Gamers went on to attack the book further on the Barnes & Noble Web site, symbolically fulfilling the game’s now seemingly most appropriate title ‘Mass Effect’. Amazon has stated that they would soon begin to remove reviews written by users who, obvious to them, did not read the book.

What is ironic and causes the most humorous aspect in this fable is that many of the reviewers admit that they have not read Ms. Lawrence’s book - as one Amazon user puts it:

“I know all about this book but have never fully read it. Why? Due to the overwhelming backlash, I have no choice but to agree with the 1 star ratings. The rumors are rampant that this book was poorly written and poorly researched. So without verifying the contents myself — I give it a 1 star. Good thing video games aren’t judged in this manner — whew!!!”

In all contrasts, the game Mass Effect, which sold more than 1.6 million copies since November 2007, is far more popular that the book “The Cult of Perfection”.

Since her interview on Fox Channel and the ‘mass’ ensuing controversy, Ms. Lawrence has said that she had watched someone play the game for about two and a half hours (after the fact) and further:

“I recognize that I misspoke, … I really regret saying that, and now that I’ve seen the game and seen the sex scenes it’s kind of a joke… Before the show I had asked somebody about what they had heard, and they had said it’s like pornography, … But it’s not like pornography. I’ve seen episodes of ‘Lost’ that are more sexually explicit.”

Coming on the heels of the controversy and seeking an apology of some sorts, Electronic Arts, the giant publisher that owns Mass Effect, has asked Fox News for a correction but Fox only offered that Electronic Arts be given a chance to appear on the channel. Electronic Arts has not yet decided whether to accept this offer. Chief executive of BioWare, the Electronic Arts studio that made Mass Effect, Ray Muzyka and who is a medical doctor, further stated:

“We’re hurt. We believe in video games as an art form, and on behalf of the 120 people who poured their blood and tears into this game over three years, we’re just really hurt that someone would misrepresent the game without even playing it. All we can hope for is that people who actually play our games will see the truth.”

Lesson #1 learnt: Prove it before you speak.

Lesson #2 learnt: Revenge is not fair.

Lesson #3 learnt: Ms. Lawrence’s ‘Making Peace with Her Overachiever’ is obviously still a ‘work in progress’ for the author.

A sex-addicted Koala bear, Chumbee, is being lined up to make the rounds at Koala bear zoo colonies after being loaned once to show a reluctant male Koala in Vienna’s Schoenbrunn Zoo ‘how to do it’. To the delight of the zoo manager, Chumbee just can’t stop going and stops only to sleep and eat.

Four Australian Koalas are Shown on a… 16×12 Photograph… Buy From Art.com

Chumbee, 5 years old, was borrowed by Schoenbrunn Zoo from Scotland’s Edinburgh Zoo. According to Schoenbrunn Zoo Manager, Helmut Pechlaner:

“Chumbee hasn’t stopped since he got here, it has been almost non stop sex in the koala enclosure ever since, and now even our own male is joining in.

“We are confident we will soon be seeing the padding of tiny koala paws.”

Several other zoos now want to borrow Chumbee to invigorate other zoo Koala colonies.

Read more …

WASHINGTON - Top White House officials announced that a previously unknown planet discovered on the outer rim of our solar system would henceforth be known as “Little Arbusto,” and that calling the planet “Sedna” or any other name would be unlawful.

“We’re not sure how to handle this situation,” Said Ted Whitinski, NASA project manager. “We had come up with some befitting scientific names for the tenth planet, but a threatening fax from Dick Cheney has made us think twice about going public with them.”

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to… 27×40 Doubl… Buy From Art.com

Whitinski went on to detail the fax, allegedly sent by Vice President Cheney on August 2.

“It stated that ‘the very sun, moon and stars’ exist to amuse George W. Bush, and that if we tried to name the planet anything ‘Science-esque,’ we would be shipped in gorilla crates to Guantanamo Bay, where our scrotal skin would be stripped off with a belt sander.” The fax reportedly went on to detail how scientists’ families would be interned in 1940s-style camps, and how their gold teeth would be seized and melted down into charms for Cheney and his friends to wear on special occasions.

In a highly unusual move, the Bush Administration invoked the article of Planetary Conquest, which was passed by congress, buried deep in the pages of the Patriot Act.

“This article gives us the right to name and exploit the resources of any planet, discovered or otherwise, in this galaxy or any other, for ever and ever amen,” said Bush during a recent question and answer session.

Read more at theSpoof.com

Here’s a good one; a man trying to sell a ‘loving cat’ whilst filming ‘the introduction to the loving cat’ on video gets bitten during filming; unfortunately the cat went ‘wild’ and bit him:

TAKE 1: Pinky the cat is introduced as ‘ a very loving cat’

TAKE 2: Pinky bites down hard after a cat fight to get away from being ‘adopted’ as a ‘loving cat’

TAKE 3: The Salesman in Pain

Have a look at the REAL video HERE!

Rigoberta Menchú, the Nobel peace prizewinner, Unesco goodwill ambassador, Guatemalan presidential candidate and figurehead for indigenous rights was ordered to leave the 5-star Hotel Coral Beach in Cancun when she entered their premises in August 2007. The hotel’s staff was not aware of Rigoberta Menchú’s true identity and assumed that she was a tramp or bag lady from the area.

The attempted eviction was stalled when other hotel guests recognised Ms. Menchú and interceded on her behalf. The behaviour of the 5-star hotel was not only embarrassing but was a prime example of disrespect for persons of indigenous origins; Ms. Menchú dresses herself in indigenous clothing which is her signature mark.   Read the UK Guardian full report here.

Hans Wagner shows off his giant rabbit named Herman.

The mighty bunny weighs a massive 7.7kg, and his ears are a lengthy 21cm - almost as long as most pet rabbits are tall. And he is almost 1m tall.  German Giant Bunny Rabbit is big for his breed, which usually tip the scales at around 6kg.
Herman lives in a specially built solid oak hutch and chomps his way through just over 2kg of food a day. His owner says his favourite snack is lettuce.

Herman lives in Berlin with owner Hans Wagner, who gives him vitamin supplements to keep him healthy, and munches through a bale of hay a week. Herman could be the world’s biggest rabbit, but Guinness World Records have stopped accepting entries because of fears people were over-feeding their pets.

German Giants do not exist in the wild, and have been developed by breeders and can live for as long as 12 years.

The dangers of eating chocolate bars without looking first at what you’re putting in your mouth? - biting into a finger in the chocolate bar!

German police are investigating after a man, Hannes Gruber, 28, of Bischofsheim, bit into a chocolate bar and found a finger. The finger has been handed over to forensic experts. According to Gruber: “…. I bit a piece off and it did not come away straight away. …. When I looked there was a tip of a finger with fingernail pointing out the end. I was sick, I don’t think I will ever eat a chocolate bar again.”

Read about Hannes Gruber’s Sickening Chocolate Finger Experience here

Buy ‘Chocolate Indulgence’ Fine Art Print by Stephania Ferri at Art.com

Dipity, the cat with behavioral problems has attacked a woman’s friends and her postal mail delivery man. Sarah Gregg’s cat took a dislike to the postman, leapt three feet and slashed him, drawing blood, as he slipped his hand through the letter box after having launched several attacks on Sarah’s friends.

The local postal service refused further deliveries to Sarah’s home if she did not fit a cage to the inside of her postal box and has also warned by way of letter of suspension of deliveries if any further incidents took place.

Sarah admitted that her cat, Dipity, is a terror and that she likes to pick fights as well as attempted to gouge ‘lumps out of the vet’ when they tried to neuter her. We think that it is high time that a Cat Whisperer came along to deal with cats that have behavioral problems. Dipity Dooda Dipity Day….. - whistles tune -

Reuters - Israeli police investigating why a car was blocking traffic in the fast lane of a major highway Sunday found a couple inside having sex.

Just in case the story also disappears from Yahoo like it sometimes does, the story happened in ISRAEL of all places TODAY, Sunday February 18th, 2007, 12:24 PM ET

A police spokesman said the couple gave in to their passions without pulling over to the side of the road, causing congestion and leaving other motorists having to swerve to dodge their stationary vehicle. Imagine that, this did not only happen in Israel, it happened in JERUSALEM! With so many taking Viagra and dying wanting to be virile, I guess this just shows that some people are still living and there’s no ‘Children of Men’ around the corner.

Comments welcome but we insist, THIS IS NOT A SEX SITE. I’m sure many of you will go away laughing… We’re slinking away chuckling.

James Van Iveren is facing charges in connection to damages conflicted to property during an attempted rescue of a rape victim (he thought). The rape victim did not exist, Van Iveren mistook screams from a porn movie in his neighbor’s apartment as screams coming from a woman being raped.

OCONOMOWOC, Wisconsin (AP) — A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

“Now I feel stupid,” said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. “This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake.”

According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning February 12, damaging the frame and lock.

“Where is she?” Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. “Where is she?

Van Iveren stated he did not have a phone to call the police so took matters into his own hands.

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

The story reminded us of the mysterious Samurai man who helped unarmed UK police fight off dangerous criminals in a similar incident in the United Kingdom recently. The mysterious Samurai swordsman appeared suddenly on the scene, fought off the criminals and disappeared as quickly as he came. UK police were calling for the man to come forward and identify himself.

That story ended on a positive note indeed, this one didn’t. As the saying goes: “Do you know what ‘thought’ made a man do?” The saying illustrates what trouble one can find oneself in if ‘thought’ and not ‘fact’ were involved in the actions of a person and is quite hilarious when you think about it. We think this case is a perfect illustration of this saying.

Buy Rape of the Sabine Woman Fine Art Print at Art.com